Voices
“Wasn’t I real before?” asked the little Rabbit.
“You were real to the Boy,” the Fairy said, “because he loved you. Now you shall be real to everyone.”
- The Velveteen Rabbit
I love reading children’s stories. Taking on the characters and their voices almost seems like a safe place for me. There is something about hearing the unique voice of each character that brings additional layers of life and joy into the story, even for me as the reader. It makes the story seem more real. In fact, as I am reading in character, in my mind’s eye I am in the story. The longer the story, the more real it becomes and the easier it is to stay in character and keep up with their voices.
We do that with real life sometimes, don’t we? We find ourselves for a moment playing a role and using a voice not ours, then moments lead to days, days to years, and over time it becomes easier, more comfortable, and seemingly sustainable. Eventually it just seems to fit and doesn’t feel like pretending at all, at least for a while.
Sometimes we become someone else out of what feels like a necessity of protection, survival, to get or keep a job, to start or keep a relationship, to grasp what we believe to be love, to navigate pure confusion over who I am, or just testing out ideas. No matter the reason, pretense is poison to authenticity and life.
If there is any chance that a hint of pretending to be someone you really aren’t is there, you want to find it and be rid of it. So let’s investigate. Please be sure to journal every thought, feeling, idea, and longing. It’s more important than you may think. So, here we go…
Find a mirror. Really, find a mirror.
Now sit comfortably. Be still.
Breathe…
Breathe deeply…
Now look into the mirror…
When you look into the mirror, what do you see in your eyes? Look into your eyes, not just at them. Do you see light, darkness, life, depression, hope, confusion, anger, pain, peace, sorrow, emptiness, joy, clarity…? Can you keep looking for 10 seconds or more without looking away? If not, why do you think that’s the case? Do you feel truthful about who you are? Are there tears? Does it seem like you don’t really know that person in the mirror? In the deepest part of your being, how are you?
It’s uncomfortable looking deep into your soul and asking lots of questions isn’t it? Don’t worry. It gets easier with time, and as your longing grows for the true you. Now, will you find a quiet, uninterrupted place to sit for a few minutes? “Step away from the phone!” Turn it off, or put it on silent, and get it far enough away that you don’t hear it vibrate. Close your eyes, slightly bow your head and “look” inward. I understand that this may be strange to you, but please, do it anyway. Pay attention to what is going on inside of you. What do you see and hear? Listen for your own voice.
Journal all that comes to you. Don’t search for the words, let them emerge. If you don’t have time right now for what you have found in this reading, maybe set an alarm to come back to it. Finding your own voice is really important. You are important.
If you would like help with this kind of inward journey, Reach Out.
